What's so threatening about that guy? He even has a lol on his picture. Lolfish. Lolfish are harmless, right? Don't underestimate him (her? I dunno fish genders.)
If any bit of food, or trash, or anything is thrown near this guy... the picture changes to this...
Enter hungry hungry fish mob. They eat popcorn, fish food, left over hamburgers, whatever you have. Keep your small children away from the railing, because you'll soon be saying "Carps ate my baby." Not as terrifying as dingoes, but still as effective.
Today a group had half a trash bag of popcorn. The fish consumed it in three minutes. There are lots and lots of carp. They're like tribbles. Their only purpose is to eat and reproduce, and occasionally provide an interesting view. But its not even like that. Tribbles are cute and cuddly. These guys are like replicators, and they're terrifying. Guests to the park don't think twice about tossing food into the lake. Why should they? The fish all clamor to the surface and pile on each other and if you've never seen anything like it before, its amusing.
But you know what? Evolution began with small cells in water that after a few evolutions became fish, and then they grew legs. What happens when these guys grow legs, huh? We will be facing a carp army. It'll be like that one recent Doctor Who episode with the vampire/fish people that were trying to take over the world. These carp will bring the end!!!
/paranoid theories.
But seriously... I'm pretty sure they would eat a small child.
I, for one, welcome our new Carp overlords.
ReplyDeleteYou would. You didn't watch the Doctor Who Episode.
ReplyDelete